Entry 75

Written on 30 April 2020, Thursday:

I’m walking up a street, going to get groceries. Our housekeeper, I assume, is with me but ahead of me, to help in carrying the bags of groceries. I run into three of my CV female students. One approaches me, tells me something I think in kriolu. I try to explain to her in portuguese that I’ve lost much of my kriolu. She doesn’t seem to be listening, of maybe she is listening just not responding as she comes closer and closer. She gives me a slightly wet kiss, no tongue. Not too deep, not too long. I was like she just wanted to greet me, a hi, hello kiss, but in a very sensual way. Our housekeeper seems to be long gone, and I explain to my CV student I have to go. She smiles a quiet smile as we part. I wondered if she was drunk. Atop a hill I’ve not only lost my housekeeper, I was also lost. I sat on the sidewalk and tried to use google maps on a phone to see where the closest supermarket would be.

Then I’m in some apartment room with my sister, or a sister in the dream as I don’t have one in the outside world. She was having me try on some fashionable clothes. My dad, or a dad, was there, too, and he also had to try on her recommendations. I guess my attire was too drab: a brown sort of fleece, military jacket and a black leather over coat jacket. My sister gave me a white shirt with some sort of blue square print on the front. And then a transparent, yellow blouse, feminine, made out of polyester or maybe even plastic. And then she gave me a smaller, more tight-fitting black leather jacket. I showed her I already have one. She was criticizing us for being out of style. I think I was accommodating, trying on her recommendations, but when I criticized her back, telling her she’s not really seeing the clothes we already have, that she has an image of us that doesn’t really fit who we are, she wasn’t very happy and sulked outside the room. I tried to appease her, I think, by telling her it no longer bothers me when she’s bossy, I just wanted her to see the facts. . .