Written 9:43am, 04 June 2020, Thursday:
Was at some supermarket at first, I think. A hazy beginning. Already picked up, or sensed my cart was full when I get a call from my sister-in-law’s sister’s father-in-law. . . In other words, S-‘s father-in-law, whose name I don’t remember, nor do I remember her husband’s. Anyway, I recognized it was him and he was calling about his son, also about his concerns for not being able to visit him, mentioning his sense of abandonment. I told him something like it’s good that he called, and by this time I’m in a car driving. I continued saying that my brother and I had the same issues. If I could relate and not take away the focus from his son, we also experienced abandonment, our mom worked abroad for 10 years, visiting us once a year for a month each visit, but mainly it was just us and our dad, along with a housekeeper. I’m sure this is something we’d have to talk about in therapy someday, but yeah, when you mentioned abandonment, I know I could relate and take the time to talk, I told him. It’s something we all gotta unpack. We all love our moms, but this abandonment is part of our emotional baggage. Our history we need to work through and talk about so you can call any time. He thanked me and was quiet for a while. I think he was processing what I said. I pulled out an almond from a bag of groceries in the back of the car. The almond was crooked and brown. Popped it in my mouth, and I remember it tasted delicious, but hard to describe the flavor. It was like how a red-blue flame might taste like, hot but not burning sweetness. . .
dream chronicles 