19 Feb 2020, Wednesday: entry 39

A blurry, and extremely jumbled up dream, but here it goes: I was in the municipal swimming pools building, about to go for a swim, but when I get there I see the pools are still being filled with water. I think to myself they just cleaned it and are now just getting it ready again. So I decide to go to the jacuzzi instead. In the outside world this jacuzzi is just by the pools, but inside the dream I had to go to another room, which seemed dark, and all cement/concrete grey, like the pools in the dream. The jacuzzi also was still not filled with water, and I see it is very deep like the pool, but I get in anyway to wait till it gets filled up, because I guess my thinking was it would take less time than the swimming pools and the water would be warmer. Then I think there were some women that join in the jacuzzi with me.

And then the scene changed, and I was in some sort of meditation room. I’m sitting around with the women, my eyes closed but somehow I knew I was surrounded by women, someone chants or recites a verse from some poem, or it doesn’t have to be a poem, it could be whatever we were thinking, whatever comes to mind. I start to think about what I would say, and when I should jump in to share it, but then this woman, who I sensed was this Norwegian girl I was seeing a couple of years ago, she was behind me and to my right and she just reaches across me and kisses another woman to my left. Other women start making out, too, and the sharing of chants, or the sort of call-and-response session was over and everyone was just quiet. The make out session wasn’t prohibited, but someone said. . . or maybe it was just a voice in my head, but something said that next time we might all just close our eyes so that we wouldn’t be so distracted by our attraction with the people around us and we can keep going with the meditation.

And then I’m about to enter the locker room in the municipal swimming pools, but even before I enter I’m already starting to take off my swim trunks, and when I look down the hallway this woman sees me and smiles. I thought it was funny and I just go in and look for my locker. There was something else in the locker room, something about looking for my locker, but I don’t remember exactly now.

Entry 38

From my dream journal on 02 October 2019, Wednesday:

Swimming in a green river. There’s a barge docked. I could see the oil residue on the water. Murky brown. I’m with a couple others who jumped in the water before me. I’m hesitant, but still jump in. I swim fast, but when I saw all the grease, and then also another barge coming in, I swim back to the dock fast, almost gliding along the water without any resistance. . .

Entry 37

Can’t remember the dream this morning, so here’s one I wrote in my journal back on the 20th of September 2019, Friday:

I was scrolling through pics on my phone, but I kept missing her pic. Maybe I was scrolling too fast, but even when I’d slow down and tap on a pic it would a picture of some guy or some other girl. They were all wearing this same line of swimsuits, the same style and color pattern of blue and white, like as if they were a line-up of models. I thought in the dream not just that they’re all models but also all Italians and all friends. . . It was hard to find her in the line-up.

12 Feb 2020, Wed: entry 36

The beginning was very jumbled and faded. I think I was in some hostel, in Frankfurt maybe. I remember thinking it’s one of the very few hostels in the area. . . so maybe it was in Heidelberg, because Frankfurt has lots of hostels. Anyway, I remember climbing up some stairs, meeting and talking to some people. I don’t remember what the conversations were about. I’m not sure if I’m staying there as a guest, or if I’m working or volunteering there. When I woke up in bed I tried to remember more but couldn’t.

Then I wasn’t awake anymore and find myself in another dream. I’m with a group of black women entrepreneurs, some of them I think I met in the hostel in the beginning. It was some kind of informal meeting at one of the group member’s condos. They were gathered around having drinks, I remember wine glasses, white wine. I don’t know what I was doing there, but I seem to be part of the circle, and they seemed to be just sharing stories and laughter. Then there was some sort of thunder or earthquake, the place shook and one of the women next to me grabbed me as she fell off her chair. I don’t remember spilled wine or broken glasses, but, it didn’t seem very elegant. I wasn’t embarrassed, though, not even when we were on the floor and she was still holding me even though the earthquake had already stopped, holding me in an exaggerated way, as if she was scared but not really, it was just a joke and I guess I got that it was just a joke. I did feel a little embarrassed I think when we were looking up from the floor and she said, Oh you like her– indicating this other younger woman standing above us.

Then we were all looking outside the window and see the storm get worse. Or at least it sounded worse, the thundering and the earthquake. It was night time, dark, but there wasn’t actually any rain or water, and we could see the small tree from the balcony of another apartment topple over. I guess it was just the beginning of a terrible storm. Suddenly we were all in a jeep or an SUV driving down the street. I was nervous the vehicle would crash in the slippery road. Then, again suddenly, I’m following the younger woman up some stairs to the entrance to her condo. I asked why they each had to go back to their houses, and she said something like they’re not dressed appropriately, that she’s not wearing a bra, for instance. When we got in to her house, it was dark, the lights were off, and I got lost. I see through the darkness that the place or some of the rooms were still being renovated. Then I see her through a window, or a glass door, with the light turned on behind her. I follow her and then we’re in her kitchen. The lights were still off and it was dark, but she seemed to want to show me the beautiful work being done in her kitchen, like the engraving of flowers on the long dining table made of dark wood. I thought maybe it was an outdoor kitchen because it opened up to her backyard garden, but when I started to walk towards the backyard I noticed the glass window, or when I touched it, the barrier between inside and out was like shingles or rafters made out of glass.

Then I think it was daytime and we were walking down the street collecting money to help with repairing the town.

10 Feb 2020, Monday: entry 35

I was in a kitchen, or coming into the kitchen that seems like the one we have in the flat except darker, or night time maybe, and the stove seems to not to be electric as in the outside world, but gas in this dream. There are several pots on the stove, and one that I guess I was keeping an eye on had been covered with a lid and the water was boiling over. I take the lid off and stop the water boiling over. I was making rice, or pasta. . . If I was cooking rice, then in the outside world I do cover it with a lid usually, so I’m not sure why I got a little angry in the dream and asked who would put a cover on my pot. So maybe it was pasta, which I don’t cover, and then my dad appears and he says he’s the one that covered it, and I tell him I don’t usually cover it, but I try to contain my anger at someone fiddling with my cooking. I see there’s a bag of chives, and I think on the bag it even said “Continente,” which is a popular chain of grocery stores here, sort of like a “Safeway” in California. And to contain my annoyance, or redirect my attention, I still asked my dad where they bought the chives.

04 Feb 2020: entry 33

The dream this morning was like I was watching a nature documentary. There’s a stag with big horns. He’s at the beach, one of the beaches here in Algarve with the sandy boulders. There’s a voice over explaining how when stags fight, locking horns, they fight to the death. There’s only one stag though, and he seems to be alone on the beach, maybe looking for something. Then scene shifts and there’s Mindy Kaling presenting a bejeweled purse, like as if now I’m watching some shopping channel, except, we’re still at the beach. Mindy Kaling puts the purse studded with diamonds inside some recess the sandy boulder and the purse gets covered or hidden inside the boulder. Then a square chunk of that boulder where the purse would have been falls off and on to the water. The stag below doesn’t see where it fell, but hears it and starts looking for it.

03 Feb 2020, Monday: entry 32

A very blurry, fragmented dream: at first there were women, talking, consulting. I’m not sure if I was part of the conversation or just listening in. I remember this first part only because it contrasts with the second part where there’s an unseen man telling me something about this brochure of boxers. I don’t remember what he was saying, but I saw in the brochure a pic of a young boxer and the caption said if you want to leave him a message, call his ex… I remember thinking how arrogant.

01 Feb 2020, Saturday: entry 30

I was in the backseat of a car, behind the driver. The driver was my dad. I thought he was driving too fast, but I don’t say anything. We were driving through some central downtown street–it reminds me of the town of Regua, in northern Portugal, which when I visited in December was quite bright and sunny, but in my dream was dark and gloomy, like a grey, overcast dusk, or morning, I guess, because we seem to be heading somewhere for an appointment. We turn to a main road off of central downtown, and my dad is now driving more recklessly, but the car seems to be going on its own speed. My dad swings the steering wheel hard to the left, then swiftly hard to the right, avoiding some wooden roadblocks, like large round stumps of wood that have been smoothly chain-sawed. Despite the hard turning, the car still seems to just mosey along, gently getting around the roadblocks. We reach a dead-end, stopping at a roadblock barrier to a cliff overhanging a dark river. . .

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